reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
