We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
