Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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