Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
