she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Randomize
