remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
