he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
