i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
