You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize