lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
