My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
