glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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