the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
