Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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