you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
handjob tips. give me some.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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