I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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