He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
