omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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