You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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