Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We had to coat check the pizza.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
