So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
