lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
