Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
