stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
