so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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