Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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