Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
