So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
