I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
