I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
