okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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