I understand Curling. That high.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
