I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
