Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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