Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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