i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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