i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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