basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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