I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
