You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Randomize
