I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I want her autograph on my taint
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize