Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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