Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
