I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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