So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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