Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
