I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
