The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
