Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
