She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
