That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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