You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
