How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
