you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
