his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
