he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize