hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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