you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
