I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
