Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
