He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
