You're my little dorito
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
