she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
