I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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