Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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